I have grown to love him, too!  Any chance I'd get, I'd read up on cats...their behavior, health, certain traits...anything, really.  I wanted to learn anything I could about our new little family member because I always want the best for anyone/anything I care for.  

Over the last few months, my social medias have been inundated with ads about cats.  I guess my internet browsing was indicative of the type of content that the marketing gods should slip into my Facebook and Instagram accounts.  

I came across some revolutionary products (Pretty Litter) as well as some cutesy accessories (Retro (cat) Sunglasses).  Of course I was intrigued!  Like my children, I wanted to give Roscoe the comforts he needed to feel safe, to keep him entertained, to keep him healthy, and to look adorable...let's be real...this last part is more for my benefit because I love anything cute!  

HOME
Cat Cave Co. - Cat caves, ranging from $60 - $140 (I purchased the 3D Fairy House Cat Cave) | catcaveco.com/collections/pet-cave

Petnip Co. - Marshmallow Calming Cat bed, starting at $40 | petnip.co/collections/cat-beds

AMAZON - KIY Brand Lint Roller/Pet Hair Remover, just under $15 | www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08X1W4V39/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Pretty Litter - Health Monitoring Cat Litter, starting at $22/bag | www.prettylitter.com/


HEALTH
AMAZON - Oxyfresh Premium Pet Dental Care Water Additive, around $15 | www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08CWY3TLW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

AMAZON - Kikimos Adjustable Calming Collar, $12 for 1pk and $14 for 2pk | www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08428N66Q/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1  
Ultimate Pet Nutrition - Nutra Thrive Feline Nutritional Supplements, just under $190 for 3 mos. | ultimatepetnutrition.com/product/nutra-thrive-cat/

FASHION
AMAZON - Bow Tie Cat Collar Bandana Set in Beige Plaid, $13/set | www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08PCKBLW3/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Petnip Co. - Retro Sunglasses, starting at around $15 | petnip.co/products/retro-cat-sunglasses

Starting off the year introducing myself to anyone out there that either doesn't know me or would like to get to know me better.  I answer a few common questions asked of me as well as reasons why I started a channel.  
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Join me here and click on the video below. :)

As I film more and more, I am getting so much better at the editing and I'm finding out what does or doesn't work.   

I’d love for you to like, share, and subscribe to my channel on this wonderful journey of mine.  Let's hang out (and we can see my progression together) - HAHA!  

​~XOXO, Mari

Unless you've been living under a rock, our world is now facing a pandemic of a virus that is killing people in the thousands every single day. Our state governor recently issued a "Stay Home, Stay Healthy" mandate starting today at midnight. We are to practice "social distancing" by staying home unless we need to get essentials like food, gas, supplies, etc. On this note, please DO NOT buy more than you need. There are others out there - especially those in the medical field - that need it much more.

Because I work for a company that provides essential services to the public, our office is still open; however, our office workers (thankfully) have the ability to work from home.  Again, another one of the many blessings in my life I am grateful for in this time of crisis. 

It's only been a few days that I've been working from home and I'm seeing some positives already.  Like other states, my kids' schools are shut down and, with the help of their teachers, I am doing my best to keep them up-to-date with their lessons.  I've also added a special "life lessons" course where I teach them about "adulting"  - things like cooking, cleaning as well as writing checks, current events, etc.  Some may think it unnecessary but I feel like it's good random information to have.

This time at home has certainly brought us closer together and have definitely posed its challenges...sometimes, my patience wanes when trying to help the kids with their schoolwork (God Bless teachers and regular home-school parents) but we are learning to work as a team and I am forcing myself to do things slower.  More home-cooked meals are being prepared so that we can eat healthier.  The kids are well-fed and are seldom having packaged (mostly junk) foods.  I've never been one to love cooking but I do find it sort of therapeutic after experiencing the (somewhat) mundane act of working from home.  I am also tackling the messy pile of paperwork by my bed and organizing areas that badly need it.  It's awesome!  HAHA!

No one likes feeling blah nor do they fancy feeling like crap every day. 

There were times I found myself with others who weren't really that great to be around; sometimes I'd find it hard to get out of (or deal with) troublesome situations; I was stressed out by multiple factors...whatever the reason, it was hard to get out of the mindset that I was having, yet again, a shit day.

Out of sheer observance of others I found to be optimistic, I thought to myself "how awesome it would be to think like them." Feeling inspired (and simply wanting to do something about my mental health), I've learned ways to get myself out of that funk.  I'm not an expert but feeling crappy constantly literally breaks you down physically.  My knees hurt, I was gaining weight, I had headaches...the list goes on!

In no particular order, here are (8) things I do to instantly feel good and get myself back on track emotionally.  I truly hope that I can inspire some of you to try these things if you want to to feel your best whenever you're feeling a little (or a lot) down!     

Basically, you've got to exercise.  Not only does it help you physically, it allows you to clear your mind.  Do what you can to get yourself moving!   Even if it's only 20-30 mins a day that you're dedicating yourself to exercising, it all adds up.  Pretty soon it'll be routine and you will find it "off" if you skip a workout.  For me,  Zumba, dancing, the stair climber, and walking are where it's at.  My husband plays ball - basketball and football - and also lifts weights or runs on the treadmill..    

Find something you love so it doesn't feel like a chore - whether it's getting fresh air (hiking and jogging are good ones) or doing something to center your mind (maybe try swimming or yoga).  Some people love to do something a little closer to home (gardening, home improvement, maybe even cleaning)!  Whatever it is that you do to get your heart pumping, you'll be rest assured that you did something to naturally feel good. 

To some it may seem selfish, but I think every single one of us could benefit from taking some time alone to recharge.  Sometimes when we overexert ourselves, we become irritable, overwhelmed, and just really awful to be around.  Trust me when I say you'll be doing everyone around you a favor by doing these things in order to get yourself in a good mood.

For me, it's going for a spa day by myself or even as simply as taking a nap.  My best friend loves to go for a drive and may sometimes take a spontaneous road trip with his dog.  There's also meditation or doing your own nails, for example.  Do what you need to do to check YO - self before you wreck YO - self!  ;-P

I'm not saying this so that you go broke...I mean, many of us would love a new bag or shoes but there are ways to treat yourself without breaking the bank!  

It's true when they say you feel good helping your neighbor (or even a stranger)! 

I, myself, have done several things...for example, I sometimes pay for a person's order who's waiting behind me at the drive-thru; I've genuinely complimented a stranger (seeing their eyes light up gives me complete joy and some have even told me I've made their day); or I've helped older people cross the street.  Just the other day, we caught our kids on camera shoveling the snow in our cul-de-sac so that our neighbors could drive in and out easily (granted they didn't do the whole block but it was their efforts that made us proud). 

It's the little things like this that spreads love, respect, and camaraderie in our communities...a few things that aren't as prevalent nowadays if I'm being honest.     

One thing I fear may lose its appeal is actually talking to people without your eyes being plastered to your smart phones.  It's a must to be able to connect with your friends and family on a personal level.  Conversing with others is simply NOT the same as texting or direct messaging them.  You'll be able to see their emotions (sorry, emojis don't cut it) and you're less likely to take their comments out of context. 

Sure, I still text or DM my friends but we try and make it a point to meet for lunch, dinner, or drinks to catch up.  We try not to use our phones in front of one another unless it's absolutely an emergency or we're taking food pics (hehe - come on now, we're still down with the times).  Hanging with my friends helps me instantly feel good in knowing that I still have those connections with people I don't personally see every day. 

I know this might sound corny but it's true!  Upon waking up, I make sure to make our bed.  Not only does it make me feel good but, for some reason, it makes me feel like I'm able to tackle the day ahead of me. 

There have been a few times when I don't (I AM human!) and I notice a big difference.  I come home and, if my bed is in disarray, I feel a little scatterbrained.  It's all mental, sure, but just that one task as soon as I get up from bed, it seems to prepare me mentally.  

I've had numerous challenging days and every time I fall back to any of these "feel-good" strategies, it never fails me. 

I hope that you're able to use some of these tips to get yourself out of any funk!  Sometimes we need it more often and that's completely okay - feeling good can be easily attainable and we shouldn't have to feel guilty about it.    

New Year, new YOU, right?! Then there's that little voice in the back of your mind taunting you, pressuring you to go back to your old ways because that's what you know...that's how you're wired. Be honest, how many times have most of us tried to re-invent ourselves and are disappointed that we've reverted back to old habits? I am guilty of it!

I have achieved some goals I'm proud of (i.e, my makeup work getting published in a few beauty and fashion magazines, public speaking, losing 30 lbs, getting this blog up and running, etc.)!  And with some of these achievements came losses (i.e. I gained back about 15 -20 lbs back of what I'd lost, I fell financially off-track, I accumulated a bunch of crap due to horrible spending habits, and so on).

It is something we all experience and it's a struggle. So, instead of putting the pressure on ourselves, why not call it New Year's GOALS instead of RESOLUTIONS? I thought back to behavior I practiced to achieve some goals in the past few years and came up with 5 tips I’m happy to share with you all...

Sometimes when I want a thought or a dream to come to fruition, I'll create something visually to help keep me motivated and, in turn, work toward it. 

You can have a physical board and cut out your favorite things from magazines and pin it up for constant inspiration or create online boards (as I did below) on Pinterest.  A constant goal we had in the past few years was to remodel our 1979 home as steadily as possible and we achieved much of it.  We constantly referred to boards to narrow down our styles and, of course, what to buy.  Granted it took a lot of time to get what we wanted but most everything that we fixed up turned out beautifully and we are confident we will at least get one of the two rooms done in the near future.

To have a visual helps keep things fresh in your mind and will motivate you to work for what you want - whether it's saving up for a trip of a lifetime, losing that last 10 lbs, or maybe working towards getting the house of your dreams. 

To set goals that aren't too far-fetched is much easier than setting something unrealistic.  For example, saying you're going to take several trips in a year without the financial means to do so is pushing it.  Sometimes people can say such things and hope it comes to fruition but if you're not doing anything to help bring you closer to what you want, then there isn't really much to say but "good luck." 

Working on de-cluttering your home (for example) is achievable in many ways.  Separating your piles into needs and wants, usable vs. unusable, etc. then taking care of them by donating, tossing, and so forth feels so good that you may be inspired to be more efficient in other aspects of your life. 

To practice daily habits, I start off slowly until it becomes routine.  As I mentioned in my last tip (setting attainable goals)...if I'm going to say my goal is to lose 20 lbs in a month, I might as well be ready to welcome it back and more.  Now, this is a goal that can be attained in extreme conditions but is not advisable.  If you were to say that you could lose a pound or two a week, then that's something that could easily be done.  

You've heard that saying "slowly but surely"?  Well, it's 100% true.  Most things you want don't happen overnight - you earn what you want by hard work, consistency, and determination.  There are times you may fall off-track but no biggie...like the late Aaliyah sang, "Dust yourself off and try again." 

There's another saying I know to be very true - "outta sight, outta mind."  Keeping track of your progress can certainly hold you accountable for whatever it is you need to improve.  If you don't have or see anything to go off of, you'll naturally assume you're in the clear and there's nothing to really worry about.

There are a few things I do to hold myself accountable - work with some type of support system (i.e. spouse, friends, work colleagues, etc.); write down/enter any reminders (due dates) or lists in a daily planner or phone; keep spreadsheets or trackers of some sort (e.g. for weight loss or financial records); unsubscribe/delete anything that may lure me back to my old ways (say, fast food coupons); and so forth.  Anything that I can see to remind me of where I'm at currently helps to keep me in check any time I am remotely close to falling off track.  

Anything you see online or hear from television or direclty from other people...take it with a grain of salt.  Not everything you see or hear is as it seems - there are those that seem to want to share everything (but really only sharing parts of it) and there are those that only share the good stuff and keep the bad stuff private.  In all honesty, I tend to be the latter.  EVERYBODY struggles with something and experience highs and lows in different stages of their lives.  So might as well do things when you're good and ready.  If any one has anything remotely negative to say about where you're at in life, just know it's their problem and not yours.  Nothing you're doing is affecting them as profoundly as they're making it seem so do what you need to do and keep on.

Hopefully, my tips give you some motivation to achieve some of your 2019 goals and that you're doing it on YOUR own schedules.  There are outside factors beyond your control (i.e. life struggles, social media, natural disasters, etc) that constantly happen but learning to work around them is key to staying on track.  I'll be rooting for you!

~ XOXO, Mari

Coming up with the content of this entry, I was a little hesitant because I'm bound to offend someone (face it, you can't make everyone happy) with what I'm about to put out there - advice on child-rearing. Yes, I know I am NOT an expert but we certainly learned a few things in raising our 3 children. I must state that, every time I give parenting advice, it's because I'm being asked.  I try not to give any unsolicited advice because I know what it feels like to be judged. Most people with children have good intentions and will do what they need to do to get by. For us, we've made (and will make) mistakes but we learn every day how to deal with our children's shenanigans - no matter how big or small. 
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I admit, I'm extremely flattered when people compliment my husband and I on our parenting skills because even though we question ourselves frequently we know that, somehow, we did something right. We're often asked how we raise our kids and the real answer is we don’t have a specific formula...we just learned along the years by trial & error and by observing other parenting styles we admire and try to put our own spin on it.

Honestly, we still struggle and no way will I be airing our "dirty laundry" online, but we have had our fair share of challenges which, I'm sure, will keep coming as long as our kids are living under our roof.  We are, however, proud that our kids are growing up to be independent people. whereas both my husband and I struggled (in our different ways) when we were their age.  What we're trying to avoid is inhibiting our children's development into maturation (hello, PETER PAN effect!).  We want them to become capable adults who can do things on their own and not be afraid to get out there and take risks.

Before you proceed in reading this entry, I will state again that I am NOT an expert but I encourage you to stay and check out our tips on raising a self-sufficient child and, hopefully, our tips can help you with your children in some way...

Now I know what some of you may be thinking...we are too strict, we need to let them be children, etcetera..etcetera...

We fully believe that giving our youngsters chores gives them a sense of responsibility and ownership. I've had interactions with kids nowadays who say they literally do NOTHING and aren't expected to. This might be a recipe for disaster (okay that statement might be a little dramatic), but giving them nothing to do to contribute to the household could seriously affect them when they start living on their own.

People always tell us that kids yearn to be their own person. When they're little, they are so proud when told they're acting like a "big" boy or girl. It gets more challenging as they grow, of course.  When they're teenagers, they want to be seen as adults and often act like they know everything. To get with the program, we give our kids the freedom to each handle their own rooms...after all, it is their own personal space. With our kids, we let them choose their rooms and collaborate with us on their decor (this includes any special requests (i.e. TV, video game console, computer, etc.)

As parents, we have that innate desire to always protect our kids from everything bad out there. I was definitely that way with my firstborn. However, with each kid born thereafter, we pulled away for a bit. We realized that arguments are normal. Jerks are everywhere, Unfortunate things happen. If we're always there to save our kids, what good will that do them when they're out in the real world? Kids need to learn how to resolve conflicts on their own - we don’t want them to be pushovers or accepting of aggressive behavior. As parents, we can advise them as best as we can and teach them the difference between right and wrong. Accept that they will come across trials and tribulations along the way and that they will be able to deal with issues. It's okay - our kids are resilient and they'll be experts in bouncing back from less than pleasant situations in the future.

​Of course, if you see them struggle, and I mean REALLY struggle (there's a bullying situation in your hands, for example), then, by all means, it's okay to step in because a little back up is needed once in a while.  In other situations, try and leave them be.

At some point in their lives, they're going to be dealing with people on a professional level. We enroll them in various activities, encourage them to sign up for clubs or volunteer work, sign them up for sports, or have them experience real work situations.  For this last one, a couple of my kids have done some modeling (so, yes, they're actually working) but for "work" you can have them help you with office-type tasks simulating real work settings (see tip #2).  

My husband and I will often encourage them to ask questions and not to be afraid to do so. Being timid asking questions will never get you closer to the answer so might as well ask! We tell them it's OK not knowing everything and there are no stupid questions.  Besides if someone treats you like you're stupid, it's more about them most of the time!  Like I said, there are jerks out there.

Here is a quick and cute story...when my 16 year old was about 7, we had just crossed over from Canada and did some shopping at a premium outlet here in Washington not too far from the border. We gave him money to wait in line to buy shoes and when it was his turn, he casually asked the cashier if they took American money. Of course the cashier laughed and told the other cashiers...they thought it was the cutest thing. My son, however, was oblivious and he didn't even hesitate to ask when most would think it was a "stupid" question!

Heck we all say/ask seemingly stupid things but this is how we learn - think of our children and their innocence - any questions they have is critical to their development and the last thing they need is someone making them feel like idiots.  As a former boss of mine once said, "People don’t know what they don’t know." Sometimes it’s best to look foolish (by inquiring) than act like a know-it-all.  Asking questions teaches our kids initiative and resourcefulness by being proactive in learning what they can to get by.  As I always say, we never stop learning!

In their adult lives, it is a given they’ll deal with various types of people.  To have people skills will strengthen their independence all the more by giving them the confidence they need to interact with just about anyone. My husband and I are blessed that we can deal with all types of people (though, it took us time to do so) and we only hope that our kids will be the same as they grow into adulthood.

I've heard it all from people...we are TOO strict...we are TOO lenient. Again it's impossible to please everyone so you do what's best for you and your family!! 

This last tip can either be seen as a hard YAY or a hard NAY. I admit, this is something I grapple with but getting better at. We are somewhere in between as far as how lenient and how strict we are when it comes to our children's freedom.  Before letting our kids go out with their friends (or by even just going out by themselves), we often talk to them about how our actions affect how others see us, making first impressions, dealing with the consequences of their decisions, being considerate of other people, etc.  Of course, our kids are hearing what we’re saying but the real test is whether they’ll actually take our advice...how will they behave when we're not there?  Sometimes their peers' words take precedence over ours.  Lots to worry about but learning to trust them takes time.  Luckily, we've heard mostly good things but there were some incidences where it wasn't all too great and, with that, came some consequences. We can only hope our kids learn from any mistakes they’ve made, correct their situation, and avoid a similar one from happening again.

Don't get me wrong - we still give our kids a curfew and expect them to call us if plans change.  There are still people who think we let them do whatever they want but they couldn't be more wrong.  We do weigh things out on a case-by-case basis and, most of the time, it's harmless.  So, yes, we do say "no" when we feel it inappropriate. 

​Like I said before, I still have trouble letting go but I know it's something us parents have to do.  I would rather let them go out and be open to talking with us than sneak around (like I did - shhhh) and have them lie to us.  

Always remember to talk with your kids...some people tend to avoid this because they think kids aren't able to understand - this mentality is far from the truth!  News flash - children are a lot smarter than you think!  As we've experienced over the years, kids will push your buttons by crossing boundaries or they will try to appease their peers by doing something stupid...the only thing we can really do is continue to guide them, hope they learn from their mistakes, hope that our words will resonate with them and that they make good decisions.

I'm not going to sit here and act like we have perfect kids - because we don't - but I will say they are aware of themselves and are confident in the sense that they know they are self-reliant and can mingle with just about anyone. The relationships they’ve formed with others seems pretty solid - at least for the most part.  They do things around the house sometimes without being told.  They can fix their own meals by cooking rice or a simple breakfast if my husband and I won't be able to. 

We have started to come to the point where we don't think they'll be relying on a woman or man to pick up after them.  Everything will be okay and the hard job we have as parents will be well worth it.

~XOXO, Mari